June 1, 2013
When on a summer’s morn I wake,
And open my two eyes,
Out to the clear, born-singing rills
My bird-like spirit flies.
~William Henry Davies
Last weekend was Memorial Day weekend. It was truly an early summer weekend with some gardening, hand drawn four square, backyard parties, a movie and two rained out trips to the pool.
We had a visit from our dear Ellen. Thank you Ellen for joining our family almost 9 years ago and never leaving our hearts. We love you.
May 26, 2013
I do not at all understand the mystery of grace – only that it meets us where we are but does not leave us where it found us. ~Anne Lamott
I have to write this down because it has been one of those months so full of grace that it has added to my foundation; I need to detail it as reference for a future time.
The past month was my 40th birthday.
The birthday itself ranked in the top 4 days of my life (after our wedding and the days Grace and Max were born). I felt surrounded by the things that matter most to me – family, friends, laughing, exercise, good food, pom pom socks. And deep gratitude.
The gift from Dan for my 40th was the most precious I’ve ever received. There was no package; nothing wrapped. It was a beautiful backyard party that bumped the birthday itself to #5 best day of my life. I have never felt so keenly his intention to love, honor and cherish me. Our marriage is forever changed by his gesture, his planning, his work, his love and that awesomely funny roast disguised as Jen Trivia.
He had asked if he could throw me a birthday party, to which I said Yes! And then several times as he planned I said No! No! No! No! No! We should really redo our living room instead or at least get a new couch, no one wants to be stuck in our small house for a party and caterers are expensive plus what’s the hook? fire jugglers? a chimp? Bono in person in the breezeway?
He chose the party and told me there didn’t need to be a hook. I waivered between excitement and fear of no one showing up, especially without a hook.
The gift I got from this party was divine, infinitely better than a couch. Our house was transformed to a dreamy garden dinner party with white lights, flowers and delicious catered food.
Plus the love, the laughing, laughing, laughing and warmth of all our favorite people jammed into our cottage, spilling into our breezeway and backyard.
Joy poured into the space inside that tries to nag at me by wondering if I am really ok, if things are really going to be ok. Every bit of that party shined a light on the wholeness that is our life. A spotlight on how far beyond “ok” we are.
Experiencing Dan expose his hilariousness to the whole group with his game show-like “trivia” was the best gift of all of it. It was the hook for me. The questions themselves reminded me how much we laugh and how much grace and humor it takes to truly love. Since that trivia, I’ve felt even more lucky that I’m his girl; that we have each other.
It also helped that I didn’t do a lick of work; Dan did all of the preparations, my family helped him organize and set up, caterers served and cleaned everything. Except the desserts, which were made by hand by Missy and Dan.
The only thing missing was my Dad. I am so sorry he missed it because he would have loved how much Dan put into it and how lovely everything and everyone was. Thank you to all of my sweet family who traveled to celebrate with me. I love you to BITS. Sorry I don’t have pictures of all of your beautiful faces.
Prior to the party Dan took me on a shopping trip. Whatever else I have already said, here’s the takeaway -the key to a good birthday is new jeans, new bras and underwear, and new makeup.
I felt undeserving and entirely overindulged by it all. At the same time I’m TOTALLY willing to take it all in as fuel for my soul.
Our little family is sitting in a place in time and space that my little inner nagging bugger wasn’t sure was attainable. We’ve been able to build friendships and community which have led to so many safe places to give and receive so regularly.
The bugger is astonished that we are surrounded by people who allow us to keep showing up with our faults and failures and they theirs; each offering the other our strengths all wrapped up in our weaknesses (or is it vice versa?). Seriously, to RSVP yes AND show up to a birthday party for a grown girl, with no hook!, is astounding. Thank you all.
I am not sure I have ever been able to feel so good in my life; the place we’re sitting has been a choice: an everyday choice of seeing the joy around us, in giving and receiving vs doubting and fearing; a choice founded by a shit-ton of blessing and good fortune and luck; a choice to Let Love Rule (thanks Lenny), that Love Wins (thanks Glennon), that grace can squish a nagging bugger inside; a choice to believe that the love and joy inside of us can live outside of us and surround us, more than the liar fear.
Does it take reaching 40 to feel this amount of contentment? Can I shout from the molehills how blessed I am?
Thank you Dan for the precious gift of a birthday party and for this dream-come-true of a life with you and Grace and Max.
May 17, 2013
“When you wake up in the morning, Pooh,” said Piglet at last, “what’s the first thing you say to yourself?”
“What’s for breakfast?” said Pooh. “What do you say, Piglet?”
“I say, I wonder what’s going to happen exciting today?” said Piglet.
Pooh nodded thoughtfully.
“It’s the same thing,” he said.” ~A. A. Milne
Pooh:
Piglet:
This is one of my favorite parts of our day. Oh my goodness, they are soft and warm. And their dragon breath could kill.
May 15, 2013
I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them. ~Mark Twain
We are on the flight home from San Jose, Costa Rica now. We’ll stop briefly in Miami on our way to St. Louis.
The drive from our hotel to San Jose was enchanting. I don’t expect the rest of the trip to be so noteworthy.
These two reminded me how much I missed my babies. The little guy still had an umbilical cord dangling.
Such a lovely country.
I could go down any of these roads, learn some spanish and tuck away for a long time here – but I’d have to go grab our chickens and bring them back too.
I am not sure how to express my gratitude for this trip or for being able to go for it without sounding like an indulgent oscars speech. Dan has given me everything and I am a very lucky girl. We loved traveling together.
I’ll save my thanks for everyone else when I hug you people in person. Please know, if I asked you to be on the lookout for my babies in any way, you made this trip possible for me. Knowing that our marriage and family is supported by all of you is heaven on earth. Life is good.
May 13, 2013
God’s love is manifest in the landscape as in a face. ~John Muir
We spent our last full day in Costa Rica in the cloud forest/rain forest at a hotel called El Silencio. It sits deep in a nook in a valley of the mountains that make up two volcanos. We were woken up by howler monkeys again, this time in the distance. The number of different bird sounds down here is amazing.
We went on probably the most magical hike I’ve ever taken, with a guide from our hotel named Orlando. It started in the organic farm the hotel runs for their restaurant.
I warned him not to touch the livestock. We’re lucky we got back in the country. He had to check a box on that reentry form that said he had touched livestock. Oy.
The scenery was not simply breathtaking, I think it was breath-giving.
Our guide diverted our hike when we mentioned we still hadn’t seen frogs for Pooh.
We were also treated to an afternoon at the spa at our hotel, which turned out to be sort of a mistake. For our last day on vacation, we both wished that we hadn’t spent the time apart. Rather, we wished we had spent the time taking in the peacefulness of the place and the tranquility that this trip has brought.
It has been wonderful to give in to such a lovely place.
We had a delicious dinner, which included many things from the farm. Dan was thrilled to order trout that we had seen coming out of the pond that morning!
We’re heading back home.
May 11, 2013
A cloud forest, also called a fog forest, is a generally tropical or subtropical, evergreen, montane, moist forest characterized by a persistent, frequent or seasonal low-level cloud cover, usually at the canopy level. ~Wikipedia
Today was our crabby vacation day. I thought we might escape it being that it is just the two of us, celebrating 10 years of marriage, in this beautiful place spoiling ourselves all week.
But the reality of what swallowing 8 quarts of sea water or eating new foods for 5 days will do to a barmann stomach set in and I woke up a bit sick. Which kicked off some question of whether or not I had cranial malaria which lead to a major case of the crabbies in the hubs.
It was a transition day to a new spot in a cloud forest, which included a road trip. It was a lovely drive through the mountains (if you could see past the bad mojo inside the car).
We were the epitome of a middle aged white American couple driving through Costa Rica. Me with my aching belly and medicine induced drowsiness and Dan with his aching jumper’s knee causing him to drive while sort of standing up.
But! This time we had a map. The only issue was that we were slightly off in what city we were heading towards. But Dan straightened that out while I bit my tongue, not hard enough I’m sure.
I really wish we (I) been in a better state of mind on this drive. The landscape was breathtaking and other worldly. Our destination was in a valley of a cloud forest. Our hotel is nestled in and gorgeous. We are going for hikes tomorrow and I will know more about this area after that. Can’t wait!
We will try to get pictures of the rest of the animals you wanted to see pooh! Love to you and Mackey.
May 9, 2013
Pura vida! ~one Costa Rican to another
Today was one of the top 10 vacation days of my life. It started with a really long night’s sleep (Costa Rica is a restful place). Then breakfast in the breeze at our hotel – the design of this place is fantastic- the hotel has no indoor lobby or restaurant- it’s all open air. I had a brief work meeting and then…we went SURFING!
It was a fabulous experience. The guys who taught us were just perfect. They had patience and knew what we needed to do to be at ease and get going. They embodied what we have found in this place- kind, friendly, willing to teach some Spanish and with an easy sense of humor.
We SURFED for a couple of hours and then got a massage.
And then had lunch on the beach where we got a picture of Tico Ron Christenson. He was tickled at the thought of his twin in Minnesota.
And then we went back to SURF some more.
…until the sun went down.
And we came back for drinks at the hotel. I ran back to take a quick shower while our Monkey Business (baileys, bananas, vodka, and probably some other yummyness) were being poured. There was a Halloween crab in the shower with me. Yikes!
What a lovely day. I can not express enough my gratitude for this time in another place with the hubs. We SURFED!
We love you Grace and Max.
