GracieThe paci fairy visited Grace two nights ago. She arrived at 5am, after trying one time earlier in the night, and gave Grace a little fairy kiss on the nose, looked her up and down to make sure she could handle life without her beloved pink-paci, and snatched the pacifier. She left a bag of gummi bears. Grace woke up and luckily I was there 🙂 to help her cope with the loss. We went into the guest bed where she screamed and cried for about 5 minutes. We then discussed how many gummi bears there probably were in the bag (I guessed 60 and when we counted them at breakfast there were 57, but keep in mind Grace had eaten 3 of them at 5 am). After that she fell asleep. She seemed quite proud of herself all day yesterday.

So last night was the first night of Gracie going to bed without the pacifier. She writhed and twitched and screamed and moaned and bellowed out to the paci gods, fairies, angles and imps to bring her paci back. For 45 minutes. During this time I laid with her and tried to keep a warm hand on her somewhere. I thought about how much I love her, how this is a rite of passage that she needs to go through, how I hope we haven’t done her a disservice by allowing paci to stay for so long, and how this is training for me for nights of crying over disappointment and lost love in her future life. I just hope I never have to hold her while she comes off of some addiction worse for her than a pacifier! There was nothing I could do or say to ease her pain except sit with her. And then after 45 minutes of screaming, when my thoughts turned to how the paci demons have taken hold of my child, I told her that it had been enough crying. I told her she needed to stop if she wanted me to continue to lay with her. She stopped cold turkey. She was awake another hour until she fell asleep and stayed asleep the whole night.

We are so proud of her. She told me in the car on the way to school that it will just take her some time to learn to sleep without it. In her words, “just like it took me some time to learn to sleep with my paci”. She is so funny and wise. I agreed with her and told her all about how she had to learn to sleep in her crib as a new baby and then in her big bed as a two year old. She will get through this! We’re planning a party for her after 5 nights of sleeping without it.

Please send a few prayers to the paci fairies out there that we all get some sleep this week!

Love to you.