“Be wise with speed; a fool at forty is a fool indeed.” ~Edward Young

I am about to turn 40 and I have been planning how to hit it on a high note for a while now.   I watched my dear friend Angela turn 40 so gracefully and saw how she embraced the moment, in part, by being intentional about some goals for that year.

A couple of years ago on a road trip to Kansas City, I asked Dan and my sister Missy to help me set some goals for my 40th year.  I gave it 2 minutes of thought and said that I thought I’d go back to Medical School and become a doctor.  Dan vetoed that with the same reasons he always gives when I say I’m going to med school.  I don’t even remember what they are because they seem so negative, something like you’ll never make a dime because you’ll have to retire before you pay back your med school bills.  Sheesh, what is his problem?

I thought another 10 seconds and said that I’d train for and do an ironman triathlon.  Missy asked if I was going to get rid of my family and friends and job. Uuuuuuugh.  Debby Downer.

I decided my goal was to find a supportive family by the time I turned 40.  And I pouted until we hit Ozarkland.

Then I put on my options-oriented thinking cap and had a better idea.  I could try to hit a PR (personal record) in the half marathon around my 40th birthday.  Sounds reasonable, right?  I had been running a lot, so not a huge life change.  It is free to run, so no lifelong debt for Dan to argue with.

My current PR was set in the mid-90s when I was in my mid-20s.  How cool would it be to best that at 40?  I figured I had ample opportunity to get there.

And I’ve tried.  But I’m not there yet, although the half marathon race day is tomorrow.  I won’t best my 25-year-old time in my about-to-be-40-year-old body.   The main reason I’m going to chalk it up to is a consistent foot injury that reminds me that I wasn’t physically formed to be a road racing star with my really loose joints and flat feet.

The other reasons I haven’t (*yet*) reached the goal could be considered GIANT excuses.  Like having a husband and two kids and a large family and a house and a new job and a lot of friends and things I contribute to at church and at the kids’ school.  Oh, and I like to eat yummy food at times that isn’t purely fuel and I also need some sleep. I haven’t put those things *completely* aside to focus on running down the street as fast as my god given body could possibly go.

Here’s my confession: I have been really focused on wanting that goal and trying to reach it.  I *have* put each and every one of those things second to it at some point this year.

I have also put each and every one of those things in front of it too.

And here’s where I am, this night before the race that I really wanted to mark my entrance into my 40s on a high note.

I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I went for it.  I made choices every day to balance what is best for all of us while also pushing to expand my/our boundaries.  I made some great choices and some totally crappy ones.  Bad ones that meant I was crabby and actually crappy.  I nearly pooped my pants last week from forcing a run when I didn’t feel up to it.  Code Brown.

And life threw some great stuff our way and some rotten stuff, as always.  I don’t need to remind you that we don’t live in the one house on the planet that never gets rained on.

And, I’m entering my 40s on a high note!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have immeasurable blessings.

The 4 of us.  Fresh Art Photography

The 4 of us. Fresh Art Photography

I am taking it at a pace that tries to fit it ALL in, in a way that is best for little old me and my family.  I am so far from perfect that I think I will be an ok role model for my kids.  I am immensely thankful that we are in a place that I can make choices and weigh options and most of those are between more of one good thing or more of another.  Even yummy food and sleep.

Let’s go people.  It’s time to party.  40!